Description: A toxic relationship is probably among the worst partnerships anyone can experience. Unfortunately, spotting the signs of a toxic relationship is tricky. Below is the story of my encounter with a toxic relationship.
The Beginning of My Woes
Besides looking forward to getting some education, I expected to find someone to love after joining college. Being naïve, I thought that getting a boyfriend would fix all the unexpected problems in college. However, that was not the case. Without knowing and experiencing a toxic relationship, it became impossible to get the boyfriend experience I expected.
Even after spending several years with the same guy, I couldn’t tell that I was in a toxic relationship. I didn’t realize that he was with me only for his own selfish reasons. I massaged his ego and made him feel better about his own life. Like any other person, he didn’t have a perfect life. However, he made me feel bad about some of the things in my life.
Evidently, our relationship didn’t start on a good note. The more the time I was with him, the less he respected me. While this is among toxic relationship signs, I was naïve to tell the difference. He made me feel guilty about everything, probably because he noticed I was quite vulnerable. As for me, I became more dependable and insecure with him. I found a heart to forgive several unacceptable toxic behaviors and lies since I couldn’t imagine being on my own.
Despite keeping a hard face amidst the toxic relationship for quite some time, cracks began showing with time. My behavior was quite telling. I started self-destructive behaviors, such as biting my nails, shopping carelessly, and drinking excessively to calm my mind. Even then, I didn’t know exactly what was wrong with me.
Like any other person in a toxic relationship, I started losing friends, experienced some depressive thoughts, and lost significant weight. While the state of my mental health was unclear, friends started noticing my physical changes. I had no option but to speak out, which made it clear that my relationship had some problems.
Having realized this, I prioritized eliminating all the negativity and taking care of myself. Losing him definitely wasn’t easy, but I am not upset. What was heartbreaking is the fact that the toxic relationship made me lose everything I believed. I made my experiences a secret for a long time as I was afraid of being ashamed. However, I have made my toxic relationship known to help other people experiencing the same. Honestly, it is not worth staying in a toxic relationship.
While I expected him to help me, he became the source of everything wrong and toxic in my life. Our relationship left me stressed and frazzled. Staying with a toxic and emotionally abusive person made me think I was always in the wrong. Even after our breakup, he tried convincing other people that I was crazy, just to protect his ego.
My optimism that the toxic relationship will take a turn for the better, but it never came. I didn’t understand that leaving a toxic relationship is challenging. I looked forward to healing from everything I went through and lived on happily and peacefully. To date, I still don’t believe that finding the love of your life is possible in college.
Without a doubt, being in a loveless and unhappy toxic relationship is horrible. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize this, which makes it impossible to end a toxic relationship. So to say, most people cannot even describe “What is a toxic relationship.” As for me, I am quite disappointed about settling with the wrong person. I wasted several years with someone who drowned my mental and physical health.
Reflecting on my toxic experience is heartbreaking. My life and habits changed into someone most people wouldn’t want to associate with. My mental health was unstable, and people couldn’t notice what was happening. However, this made me realize what love is. Love is exciting if you find the right person, but complicated and stressful in a toxic relationship.
As for now, I am happy I moved on after the depressing breakup period. I am also excited to explore other dating options, including datingmentor.org, to meet new and better people.
What are some of the experiences you have had in a toxic relationship? Please share them with us in the comments section below.
Author’s bio: Patricia Jackson is a psychologist and relationship expert. She also works as a guest writer for datingmentor.org, more of her articles can be read there. She recently discovered her talent as a writer and is now sharing with people her experience and thoughts about love, relationships, and family. Patricia loves to spend her free time with her family, travel together, and develop her creative talents.
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