Let me begin with a simple question.
Are you in control of your emotions, or are your emotions dependent upon those around you?
When our self-worth depends upon others opinion about us, we are emotionally dependent upon them. They could be our partners, our parents or our friends whom we look up to, or try to impress; people whose opinion about us decides how we mold ourselves just so we feel “accepted”.
We turn to our close ones to choose for us—be it clothes, food, or life choices. We aren’t as confident making these choices for ourselves.
Some of us also feel stifled, inwardly, for lacking the confidence that could give us the power to live our life on our terms. But, we continue living in their shadow all our life.
The trauma of doing so can lead to low self-esteem, and a lack of happiness in life. Frustration sets in, too, as does depression, when we lack the courage to take our decisions, make our voice heard, our views respected.
Is it really the way we wish to live the rest of our life? Worrying about what others think about us, asking for permission to do every little thing in life, lacking the confidence to take decisions for ourselves?
Recommended: 6 self-care ways for your emotional health
Emotional Independence Is Easy To Achieve:
Being emotionally independent is not as difficult as it seems.
All it needs is the desire to break free of the chains that bind us to others, emotionally.
And, a little bit of strength to take risks, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes and move ahead in our life, with our head held high, living life on our terms.
What Makes You Emotionally Independent?
When we are comfortable in our own skin, happy with ourselves and confident about ourselves, and our choices, wherever we may be in our life, we can consider ourselves emotionally independent. And fortunate!
Emotionally independent people decide for themselves what they want from life, or what they want in their everyday life, too.
Their likes, dislikes, happiness, sorrow are their own, irrespective of what others think. They are not governed by others opinions about them, or their life.
Their emotions do not depend upon others. They do not accept others views of how they are “supposed to feel” about a particular matter.
These are the signs of emotional independence and it is easy to achieve.
Here’s how one can do it.
Spend Time With Oneself:
It is difficult for most of us, but the best way to gaining emotional independence is to spend time with oneself. This gives us the chance to get to know ourselves, get in touch with our feelings, our emotions.
It gives us an opportunity to understand ourselves, understand how things around us affect us. We all have a unique mechanism that helps us to deal with life. Those who are emotionally dependent follow their “idols” and seldom express their own views or thoughts.
Being with ourselves gives us this chance to react in our own unique way to things that happen around us.
Choose For Oneself:
Let us begin by making simple choices, for example, the food we would like to eat, the clothes we would like to wear, the books we would like to read, etc.
Let us decide what it is that we want to do, and when we want to do it. And, one of the best ways to do it is by going on a solo date.
A solo date is the perfect way to achieve this. Visit the places one has always wanted to, eat wherever one feels like it, do whatever one fancies doing. Doing this will give us the feeling of being liberated!
It will give us a clear understanding about ourselves, what we want for us from our life. Little beginnings like these will also give us the confidence to spending time alone.
Stop Trying To Please Others:
One of the most important things we need to learn is that we can never keep everyone happy. Whatever we may do, there will be people who will be displeased or unsatisfied.
We need to make ourselves a priority and make ourselves happy. After all we will be living with ourselves for the rest of our life! So, it is what we feel about ourselves that should really matter.
If others are happy with what we do, fine. If they aren’t, fine, as well!
Let us decide for ourselves what it is that makes us happy and then follow it. Let us focus on our hobbies, our likes, our dislikes, and our views, instead of others.
Take Our Own Decision:
Whatever they may be, let us make our own decisions. Be it about our life, life partner, jobs, hobbies, even our political views—all of these need to be ours. Making these decisions will give us enough confidence and courage.
Yes, we will make mistakes, but then, we will also be strong enough to face the repercussions and make amendments based on our own experiences and our knowledge about ourselves.
Isn’t it simple?
Actually, it is not as simple, but then it is not as difficult either.
One step at a time, one decision at a time will take us to our goal.
And, we need to take this step, this decision, for, if we fear the change, or the outcome, we will be forever stuck in a rut that will make us repent later on in life.
A small beginning is all it takes. A single leap of faith (in oneself) is all that is needed to see the difference we wish to see in our life.
For now, signing off until next post.
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Thanks for reading | Stay happy, stay healthy.
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Author’s Bio: Shilpa Gupte is a health and wellness blogger. Her blogazine, Metanoia, is a holistic wellness blog that talks about mental health, women’s health, and nutrition. When she isn’t writing, she immerses herself in her books and art–her favourite mindfulness activities.
Do visit Metanoia.