“Love is life.” “Love is all you need.”
We all have heard these love quotes. They are wonderful. Love makes us feel like a giant dose of happy emotions in your body and brain. It wants us to be present and be together with your partner and if your partner resonates and reciprocates the same emotion, you are lucky.
But what if you are pouring yourself too much in a relationship and start losing your individuality. And at the same time, your partner does not reciprocate the same emotions and start feeling suffocating.
Then there is a possibility that you are loving too much and your love is smothering your partner.
Now you may ask, Is there anything like “too much Love”? Can love be measured? When does love turn into smothering?
Excess of anything is forbidden. Love isn’t an exception.
Though it might sound selfless love but its selfish. When you are loving someone too much it does more harm than good.
There is a very thin line between love and smothering. Most of the time people don’t even realize when they cross the line. if you want a healthy and long-lasting relationship, it’s important not to cross that line.
When you love someone, you want the best for the person. Even if that means the relationship looks different from what you had in mind. In contrast, when you are smothering someone, you prioritize your own and do not care for what the other person wants or needs.
While smothering someone You may feel like you’re showing love, but in reality, you’re being selfish if your love is motivated by your insecurities and fear and you don’t care about what the other person wants or feel.
This is one reason why people get scared and run away from such relationships.
Love gives. Love is generous. It prioritizes the other person’s freedom and autonomy.
Every relationship needs space and air to breathe to survive and thrive.
Smothering deprives the relationship from the oxygen and kills it.
Here are some of the reasons why it is bad to love someone too much:
- You start losing yourself and individuality. You start adopting your significant other’s interests even if you are not comfortable. It’s fine to check out and learn more about what your other person likes, but shadowing or the following someone is inappropriate. It also gives the impression that you don’t have any interests of your own.
If partners have an individual personalities, believes, likes, and dislikes of their own, it makes the relationship stimulating and appealing. Mixing different hobbies, beliefs, and preferences just make things more interesting.
In any healthy relationship, you must maintain your sense of self. Depending on your significant other for your happiness and good times is pitiful. also, it’s very exhausting for the person who’s been put in charge of entertaining you.
- You give more than they give. If you are too devoted to a relationship and your partner is not reciprocating the same and not even appreciating the effort, then you are in trouble. You will be deeply hurt disappointed. You keep investing in a relationship that has no chance of surviving, as their beloved does not love them to the same extent.
A good rule of thumb in a relationship is to Give back what you get—the energy, attention, and effort your partner is investing in your relationship.
Indeed, love is not a calculation of what we give and get, but where there is a lack of reciprocity, it is obvious that one is loving too much.
- You are blinded by love. Intense love prevents you from realizing the true nature of your relationship. It prevents you from seeing your partner’s faults or short comes. It also prevents you from realizing that your too much love is hurting them.
- Your reasoning might be clouded. It will be difficult to see what’s right or wrong. For example, you might come to a point in your relationship where you will find emotional and physical abuse okay just because you love your partner. Being blind because of excessive love can warp your reasoning.
- You might be pouring too much of yourself and left empty. A relationship is composed of two complete individuals. If you become incomplete, you will eventually feel like there’s so much emptiness in your life and you do not know how to fill. You will not feel content and worthy. And in due course, It will be difficult to love someone because of that.
- You might neglect your self. You stop pampering yourself because you’re too busy caring for your loved one. You stop looking for self-growth because your only focus is your loved ones. You lose several opportunities along the way because you get too busy focusing on the one you love. Neglecting yourself because of too much love for someone might backfire and make you feel you have not made much of your life.
- You might have no time for your family. Have you been missing out on important family gatherings? Has it been ages since you last ate dinner with your family? Loving someone too much might take even the time you spend with your family.
- Your partner might take you for granted. He or she might be aware that you give too much love and invested in a relationship. They might take advantage of it. They know that you’ll forgive them if they do something wrong, so they might not think twice of their actions. they might not make an extra effort to make a relationship work and leave everything on your shoulders.
- You might feel discontented with your partner. If you’ve given up your social life, your interests, hobbies, career, and everything for, then you might expect them to do the same. If you’ve let opportunities pass for someone, you might expect the same from them. As a result, you will feel unhappy.
“All in love is fair.” It’s not true. Everything is not fair in love. You need to be mindful and intuitive while being in love.
Your love is “too much” when some damage has been done—either to the lover or the beloved. When intense love blinds your sight and makes you act inappropriately, such intense love is too much.
Anything in excess is harmful. Love isn’t an exception. Loving someone too much is dangerous for you, your partner, and your relationship. Keep things regulated, so you can keep things right.
For now, signing off until next post.
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