What is Emotional Intelligence(EQ) and How to improve it?


We all are aware of the term IQ which is academic or cognitive intelligence. It is a prevailing belief that a person with a high IQ is going to be successful in all the aspect of life. Which is not true, a person with a high IQ can figure out how to do a job, he/she can be very good at academics. But to be actually successful they need to develop other forms of intelligence too.

Apart from IQ, emotional intelligence (EQ) and Social intelligence (SQ) are also necessary for a successful life.

Emotional Intelligence

The brief descriptions of each type of intelligence:

Cognitive intelligence(IQ):

It is the ability to reason, plan, solves problems, thinks abstractly, comprehends complex ideas, learns quickly and learns from experience.

Emotional Intelligence(EQ):

It is the ability to understand one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to take actions accordingly.

Social Intelligence(SQ):

It is the ability to successfully build relationships and navigate social environments. It involves understanding social situations, relationships and knowing what to do in a given situation.

In this article, we will talk about emotional intelligence in detail, its importance and how you can you improve it.

Let’s begin:

Emotional intelligence is being intelligent about your own emotions as well as the emotions of others. It is the ability to differentiate between the different kind of emotions and respond to them in an appropriate way.

It allows us to understand yourself better and form a strong bond with our spouse and significant others and enables us to empathize more with our coworkers.

Emotional Intelligence

The theory of emotional intelligence was first introduced by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990. They described it as “the ability to recognize and understand and regulate emotional effectively in everyday life”. Their theory struck the chord in the field of psychology. As a result of that other researchers and psychologists also started exploring and discovering all the avenues.

In 1995, Daniel Goleman authored the internationally best-selling book Emotional Intelligence. In “Emotional Intelligence” he developed the argument that non-cognitive skills can matter as much as IQ for success in personal and professional life.

According to Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is a vital factor in success in children too. It improves their learning abilities, eliminate distractions and harmful behavioral problems.

Researchers believed that emotional intelligence is not a genetic characteristic. This skill can be learned and developed with the time.

According to Daniel Goleman, there are 5 components of emotional intelligence:

Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions as well as others.  It is the ability to be aware of the trigger of your emotion and how it will affect people around you.

Self-regulation: The ability to regulate and manage and appropriately express your emotions.

Motivation:A person with high EQ is highly motivated for their mental and spiritual growth rather than materialistic rise.

Empathy:It is the ability to understand or sense others feeling or how you would feel in their shoes.

Social skills:It is the ability to effectively interact with one another and successfully navigate the social situation. Social skills are all about communicating your point of view too.

The first step of being emotional intelligence is to understand your emotions and connection between various emotions. You must be able to recognize the cause and consequences of your emotions.

Characteristics of highly emotional intelligent person:

Emotional Intelligence
  • Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three-word sentences beginning with “I feel…”
  • They think about feelings. They try to recognize the cause of a particular emotion and how it will affect them and people around them such insights prevent them from impulsive responses.
  • They are not afraid of change. They are flexible to adopt the change of circumstances.
  • They Know How To Say ‘NO’, Which is the greatest challenge for some people.
  • They know the magic words, please, sorry and thank you. They are polite in their words and actions. They take care not to offend others.
  • They are an empath, which allows them to build deeper, more connected relationships.
  • They are self-aware. They introspect themselves to have a better insight into their thoughts and actions.
  • They are curious and open-minded.
  • They embrace their strength and weaknesses gracefully.
  • They commend others. Emotionally intelligent people look for the good in others.
  • They are good at judging someone. They notice things like body language, dialect, and personality traits.

Some characteristic of a person with low Emotional Intelligence:

  • Doesn’t take responsibilities for his/her feelings, but blames others for them.
  • They Attack, blame, command, criticize, interrupt, invalidate and judges others.
  • They judge others when someone expresses their feelings.
  • They are unable to handle their emotions.
  • They are clueless about the feelings of people around them.
  • They have a too loud emotional reaction.
  • They trivialize the importance of emotions.
  • They Rigidly stick to their belief and cant adopt new ideas or facts.
  • They are a poor listener. they Interrupt and Invalidate. and often Miss the emotions during communication.
  • They can’t maintain good relationships due to lack of sympathy and empathy towards others.

The importance of Emotional Intelligence:

Humans are a social and emotional creature. Being able to connect with others boosts your performance and help to communicate better. Simply it will flourish you in every aspect of life.

If you are able to understand your emotions and their consequence well, you can manage the stress and have good mental health. It will help you to reduce anxiety and avoid depression and mood swings. And boost positive and happier attitude towards life.

Emotional intelligence facilitates you to communicate your feelings in a more constructive way. You will be able to understand and relate to your loved ones. You can Understand the needs, feelings, and responses of people around you and can build stronger and more fulfilling relationships.

If you have the ability to monitor and control emotions and to display appropriate feelings. It will help you to build better relationships in the workplace. Leaders often crash and burn due to the lack of emotional intelligence. They act out impulsive and throw tantrums, in such manner, they estrange loyal and dedicated workers.

How to improve Emotional Intelligence:

You probably know someone who doesn’t get angry in stressful situations and have the ability to calmly find a solution. They’re excellent decision makers, and they know exactly when to trust their hunch. Regardless of their strength, They take criticism very well and use it as a motivation for betterment.

People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence and you can have it too. Here are some best practices which will help you to improve your EQ.

  • Pay attention to the cause of your emotion and what it feels like. Observe how you react to certain emotions, and how that affects your life. The more you watch your emotions, the more you will become aware of it.
  • Try to understand other people and be more open to new ideas. Let your views and belief challenged. Take time to know the other side of the story too.
  • Take responsibility for your feelings and behavior. Understand the fact that no one is answerable for your feelings and emotions. This attitude will have a positive impact on all areas of your life.
  • Write thoughts and feelings down. Research has shown that writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you to understand yourself better.
  • Create a positive environment. it will improve your quality of life and can be contagious to people around you too.

Remember that It’s a lifetime practice. Even if you feel like you’ve mastered this art, keep practicing, and you’ll reap the benefits of EI for the rest of your life.

For now, signing off until next post. 

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Thanks for reading | Stay happy, stay healthy.

Take care!

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Author: Chetna Tripathi

Hi there!My name is chetna tripathi. I love blogging.It is my passion. I am an introvert and I hate it because I'm often misunderstood. I'm not open up with everyone.I'm usually quite. That's why I love express my thoughts on paper,so i write dairy because this is the place where i can express myself freely. Interests: Blogging, Music,Painting,Reading, Television, Media Stuff,Social issues. I love hindi and urdu poetry because "poetry is language at its most distilled and most powerful". I love to travel because it broadens the mind and feeds the soul. Quote that I relate to “In an extroverted society, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is often unconsciously deemed guilty until proven innocent.” ― Criss Jami, Venus in Arms

11 thoughts

  1. I have written articles for some sites related to deep psychology on EI. Those articles were deep one which could be mainly understood by people who have psychology knowledge. You have written this article in a good form, easy to understand for anyone. Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for pointing out that there is more than one way to be intelligent. It’s not all about academics, or diplomas. Anyone with poor social skills and little understanding of emotions, both their own and those of others around them, ends up lonely and wondering why…

    Liked by 1 person

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